Cleaning House

Have you ever had such a messy house that you look around and you have no idea where to start or how to get it cleaned up?  Or maybe someone hands you a problem that is so convoluted and detailed that you just look at it and your head immediately starts to hurt?  How about when you first decided to run a marathon (or your first half…or first 10K…) and had no idea how to get from zero to the finish line?

That’s exactly how I feel right now about blogging.  I just don’t have a clue how to get back into things.  My identity in the online world is based mostly on running; my experiences, adventures, runs, races, my struggles and my accomplishments.  And let’s be honest, my real world identity is tied together with running pretty damn tightly as well.  If you ask who I am, the answer will always include running, along with wife, dog-mom, daughter, grand daughter, friend, coach, and detail organizer.  That’s who I am.

If you delete the runner, and it affects every other aspect of my life.  It’s been a tough past few months, and I hate whining.  I absolutely hate writing solely about my struggles and feeling like I’m a big giant baby.  But then, I don’t feel like I have much to say that’s worth writing about, that you’ll be interested in, and that is “me.”

So, I’ve just basically stopped blogging.  On top of being an injured runner which has been tough, I’ve self sabotaged myself as well by taking away my outlet.  And I have no idea of where to start, how to find my rhythm, how to get back into writing, into being invested in myself as a blogger.  I have no idea how to unravel this mess and how to solve this problem, where to start to get my house spick and span again!

But, I’ve always found that just starting, just taking that first step is the hardest, so here I go, just going to force myself to start, even if it’s not the smartest or most efficient place to start.

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Ya, I’m Still Alive, Promise.

Gosh, I’m SO behind on posting.  I have to tell you about our volunteer-cheering weekend at Squamish50, and about how Whistler 5 Peaks went absolutely amazing and how I finally felt like I had my groove on as a race director.  I want to tell you about how I start running again (!!), and felt pretty darn good and moving for a week, and then things fell apart and I’m not sure but I think my steps forward and elation were just too damn fast.  Wah.

Yea, it’s hard to tell you everything and nothing right now.  But, I just wanted to say that I’m here, I’m alive, I’m not great by any means, but I’m also not terrible.

I’ll try and write soon, I have to get back into my writing groove, because I know how much I enjoy and relish this blog, and I’m sad and sorry that I’m neglecting that part of me.