To be honest, I wrote a post a few months back, when I was fuming angry and offended beyond belief. I was lived and almost shaking with negativity. That post was written on my iPhone while bumping along a dirt road in Western Kenya, that was riddled with pot holes, mud, and definitely was not a smooth sailing drive. One of my favourite people in the world snoozed beside me as we bumped along, for some reason, that comforted me, and led me to typing out a very long-winded and emotional post. I found it therapeutic and a huge release to write it all down, although I knew that I couldn’t actually post everything I wanted to say, and that in order to post anything, I would have to come back to it when I was calmed down and looking at it with a clearer mind.
Basically, this blog is public, and as much as I want to convince myself that it’s ok to stoop to that level and bash others, it just isn’t. It isn’t who I am as a person, and it certainly isn’t who I want to be in the future. Part of the reason I haven’t posted and blogged as much in the past few years is because I went from being just a runner in a big group of runners, to a race director and group organizer. I have to censor some of the things I’d like to say for the benefit of my public persona, and the different companies and groups that I represent, and am the front line for.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not who I am anymore, it just means that I’m more cautious and careful as to what I put out there for the world, and in particular runners in my community, and racers at my races may read. The Vancouver running and especially the trail running community is an amazing community, but as in any community or group, there’s unspoken issues, dislikes, and impressions that may or may not be truthful, and as someone who’s both out there/involved in the community, and someone who’s outspoken, blunt, speaks their mind (sometimes without thinking first), and isn’t great at sugar coating, or being fake, well, you can imagine I get my fair share, if not more than, misconceptions about who I am.
Anyways, this post is a combination of the post I wrote while in Kenya, edited with a few months of perspective and the post I was encouraged to write after seeing one of my favourite doggie instagrammers @Nalu.co posted about herself and her story, her background, and really just responded to those who “call her out” on instagram and question all of her life choices and decisions through a computer screen without actually knowing anything about her and her life.